


Barry Allen and His Super Genius (just a little bit evil) Boyfriend

by pissedoffeskimo



Series: The Flufftastic World of Barrisco [1]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Barrisco Month 2015, Crack, FlashVibe Week 2016, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Screenplay/Script Format
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-24
Updated: 2017-06-21
Packaged: 2018-05-08 19:04:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5509574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pissedoffeskimo/pseuds/pissedoffeskimo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Script play for Barrisco month and FlashVibe week.  Because I love a good distraction and because it was fun.  Also, because I couldn’t stop myself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Barrisco Month 2015

**FAKE DATING  
** **Cisco:** So, mission accomplished.  
**Barry:** Mission accomplished.  
**Cisco:** It took a month, but you did it. You managed to convince my mother that we’re dating, that we’ve been dating, that we’re serious, and she gave it to you.  
**Barry:** It was not easy.  
**Cisco:** She guards those family recipes with her life.  
**Barry:** No, I mean, I thought you were exaggerating, but she really does. I thought I was actually going to have to propose to you in front of her and maybe even start planning the wedding before she would believe me.  
**Cisco:** You did use tongue over desert. And in front of Abuela. I admire your commitment to the cause.  
**Barry:** Those were some good tamales. Why did we have to do that anyway? It’s a _family_ recipe. Why wouldn’t she give it to you?  
**Cisco:** Oh, she did.  
**Barry:** What?! But you said… you said the only way she’d give that recipe over was if she thought we were in a serious, committed relationship!  
**Cisco:** To you. I’ve had that recipe for years.  
**Barry:** But, then… why?!  
**Cisco:** About two months ago, I realized I was way into you, but I wasn’t sure if you were into me. So, I figured if I told you we had to pretend to be dating, it would be an easy way to gauge your interest.  
**Barry:** You could have just asked!  
**Cisco:** Yeah, but this was more fun.  
**Barry:** For real? You’ve been playing me for a month just to find out if I was into you?  
**Cisco:** Oh, no, I knew you were into me by like day three. I just kept it going to see how it would work out.  
**Barry:** Yeah, and how did it work out?  
**Cisco:** That depends.  
**Barry:** On what?  
**Cisco:** Where you end up sleeping tonight.  
**Barry:** That is… actually one of the sweetest things anyone has ever done for me.  
**Cisco:** Right?  
**Barry:** I should probably call Joe.  
**Cisco:** Why?  
**Barry:** To let him know I’m not coming home tonight.  
**Cisco:** My game is on point!  
**Barry:** Shut up and kiss me before I change my mind.  
   
   
**CISCO'S ORAL FIXATION  
** **Caitlin:** Barry, have you seen Cisco?  
**Barry:** Huh?  
**Caitlin:** Cisco? Have you seen him?  
**Barry:** Right! No, no I haven’t… hm, seen him in a… a while… now.  
**Caitlin:** Is something wrong?  
**Barry:** No. No, nothing’s… wrong.  
**Caitlin:** Ooookay. If you see him, let him know I need his help. My centrifuge is acting up. I want him to take a look at it. *walks off*  
**Barry:** *looks under the desk* Caitlin needs you to look at her centrifuge later. I’m pretty sure that’s not a euphemism.  
**Cisco:** *muffled agreement*  
**Barry:** Don’t talk with your mouth full.  
**Cisco:** *thumbs up*  
   
   
**JEALOUSY**  
**Cisco:** Did you see that?!  
**Barry:** I was standing right here.  
**Cisco:** Lisa Snart full on kissed me.  
**Barry:** I saw.  
**Cisco:** She’s so hot, too. Like you hot, only she’s a total bad ass.  
**Barry:** I could be a bad ass.  
**Cisco:** No offense, Barry, but, no, you couldn’t.  
**Barry:** I could! I could wear a leather jacket and ride a motorcycle.  
**Cisco:** And form fitting leather pants?  
**Barry:** Yes!  
**Cisco:** Done. *walks off*  
**Barry:** Wait, what just happened?  
   
   
**THEATER AU**  
**Barry:** I don’t think this is what they meant by Theater AU.  
**Cisco:** Have either of us ever, in canon, had sex of any kind in a movie theater?  
**Barry:** Well, no, but…  
**Cisco:** Would you, under normal circumstances, exchange hand jobs in public?  
**Barry:** No! I work for the CCPD. Do you have any idea what getting arrested for indecent exposure would do to my career?  
**Cisco:** Right and, to further that, I would never allow you to distract my focus from a Star Wars movie marathon, no matter how many times I’ve seen them. Therefore, I’m pretty sure this counts as an Alternate Universe.  
**Barry:** Fair enough. Continue.  
   
   
**SOULMATES**  
**Barry:** What is that on your arm?  
**Cisco:** Check it, we’re soulmates.  
**Barry:** That not… you can’t just write someone’s name on your arm in sharpy and claim you're soulmates. That’s not how that works.  
**Cisco:** Does in fanfic. Besides, are you saying we’re not soulmates? That you don’t love me?  
**Barry:** No, I’m not… It’s just… look, you’re my best friend, and the sex is beyond amazing, and we have like almost everything in common and I love hanging out with you and did I mention the sex? But soulmates aren’t… I mean, I’m really into you and this and… and everything, it’s just…  
**Cisco:** *breaks down laughing*  
**Barry:** For real?!  
**Cisco:** Your face right now? Worth it.  
**Barry:** You’re a dick.  
**Cisco:** We’re totally soulmates.  
**Barry:** Yeah.  
   
   
**SWITCHING POWERS**  
**Cisco:** *calls Barry* Barry! Barry, I need you at S.T.A.R. Labs!  
**Barry:** *runs to S.T.A.R. Labs* What? Is someone in trouble?  
**Cisco:** No, I’ve made this new toy we have to try.  
**Barry:** …toy?  
**Cisco:** Not that kind of toy. Although… no, never mind. Okay, don’t say no right away, just hear me out. This will allow us to – wait for it – switch our powers.  
**Barry:** No.  
**Cisco:** Come on!  
**Barry:** No, I’m not switching powers with you.  
**Cisco:** Just for a day.  
**Barry:** I don’t want blinding headaches and visions. I’ll stick with super speed, thank you very much.  
**Cisco:** If you switch powers with me, just for one day, I’ll do that vibrating thing with the back of my throat that you always do.  
**Barry:** That… I don’t hate that idea.  
**Cisco:** Right?  
**Barry:** Okay, but just one day?  
**Cisco:** One day. Hold this.  
**Barry:** *holds it* And if there’s an emergency, we switch back.  
**Cisco:** *activates device* No promises.  
**Barry:** Wait…  
**Cisco:** *runs*  
**Barry:** Damnit!  
   
   
**MEETING THE RELATIVES**  
**Cisco:** I don’t understand. I’ve already met all your family.  
**Barry:** Technically, but now that we’re dating, Joe’s going to want to introduce you to his BFG, which he considers a part of the family.  
**Cisco:** BFG? Please tell me that stands for Big Friendly Giant.  
**Barry:** Almost. BoyFriend Gun.  
**Cisco:** How is “BoyFriend Gun” anything even remotely similar to “Big Friendly Giant”? One has the word friendly in it and the other is a _gun_.  
**Barry:** Guns can be friendly. It just depends on which end of it is pointed at you.  
**Cisco:** I take it back, I’m not doing this. *walks away*  
**Barry:** Cisco, come back! I was kidding. It’s Iris’s Grandmother! Cisco!  
   
   
**POLY/THREESOME**  
**Cisco:** Iris?  
**Barry:** I think we’ve established she doesn’t see me that way, let alone you.  
**Cisco:** Patty? She’s totally into you.  
**Barry:** Yeah, but I don’t get the feeling she’s up for a threesome. I’ll ask, but let’s keep our options open.  
**Cisco:** Lisa Snart?  
**Barry:** No way! She’s a little _too_ into you. If you want Lisa Snart, I want Captain Cold.  
**Cisco:** ‘Kay, first of all, hell no. I’m not letting his too-toned ass anywhere near you. And second, ew, that’s incest. I may have said kinky, but I didn’t mean _that_ kinky. Besides, that’s not a threesome, it’s an orgy. We distinctly agreed on a threesome.  
**Barry:** *thinks* What about Hartley?  
**Cisco:** Dude, no, this was supposed to be _my_ birthday sex. Why would you even think I’d want to spend it with him?  
**Barry:** Didn’t you two have a thing?  
**Cisco:** What makes you think that? Why does everyone just assume Hartley and I…  
**Barry:** Caitlin said she caught you in one of the labs before he was fired. Three times.  
**Cisco:** Fine, but Patty first. If she turns you down, then we go looking for Hartley.  
**Barry:** What if he says no? Shouldn’t we have another backup?  
**Cisco:** Trust me. *chuckles* He won’t say no.  
**Barry:** … Never mind, I don’t want Hartley.  
**Cisco:** Fine, then I don’t want Patty.  
**Barry:** Yeah, then what do you want?  
**Cisco:** You in robes, calling me Headmaster while I paddle you.  
**Barry:** Fine! Wait, what?  
**Cisco:** No take backs. *walks off*  
**Barry:** Every time! I fall for it every single time!  
   
   
**FUTURE AU/REUNION**  
*S.T.A.R. Labs reunion, 20 years in the future*  
**Barry:** That desk over there.  
**Cisco:** My lab.  
**Barry:** _All over_ the cortex.  
**Cisco:** The hospital gurney.  
**Barry:** Against the vending machine on third.  
**Cisco:** The Reverse-Flash’s secret lair.  
**Barry:** The…  
**Caitlin:** Would you two stop listing all the places you had sex while we were working here?  
**Barry:** Caitlin’s computer chair.  
**Cisco:** Twice.  
**Caitlin:** *deep breath* I had Jay put on Barry’s suit for a night. It was a tight fit, but he managed.  
**Barry:** How could you?!  
**Cisco:** Yeah, that’s not _Barry’s_ suit, it’s _mine_!  
**Barry:** For real? That’s your problem with that?  
   
   
**FOR SCIENCE**  
**Caitlin:** What the… Why is this locked? *knocks* Is someone in there?  
**Cisco:** Little busy!  
**Caitlin:** Doing what?  
**Cisco:** Uh… science?  
**Caitlin:** …Is Barry in there with you?  
**Cisco:** Maybe.  
**Barry:** Hey, Caitlin.  
**Caitlin:** It’s not science if you’re both naked!  
**Cisco:** I have a chart that says otherwise!  
**Caitlin:** Oh for the… just come get me when you're done.  
   
   
**MONSTER AU**  
**Cisco:** Role play Wednesday! I’m so psyched. Okay, Barry, it’s your turn. What are we doing?  
**Barry:** Vampires.  
**Cisco:** As in, both of us, or…  
**Barry:** No, that’s no fun. I’m the vampire, you’re the victim, helplessly drawn in by my preternatural charms.  
**Cisco:** Okay, just hold up a second, what kind of vampire are we talking about?  
**Barry:** What kinds are there?  
**Cisco:** Well, are we doing Blade, or is this a Twilight sort of thing?  
**Barry:** First of all, if you ever mention that unholy piece of preteen trash in my presence again, I will cut you off for a week.  
**Cisco:** No, you won’t.  
**Barry:** And there is only one kind of vampire. *pops his collar* Lost Boys.  
**Cisco:** Dios mio, you are so hot right now.  
   
   
**HIGH SCHOOL AU**  
**Barry:** Hey, um, have you seen Iris West? About this high, dark skin, long hair, red shirt?  
**Cisco:** No. I was supposed to be meeting my friend Caitlin here five minutes ago, but she never showed.  
**Barry:** Huh, that’s weird. I, uh, I like your shirt.  
**Cisco:** Thanks.  
**Barry:** Star Wars, right?  
**Cisco:** Yeah.  
**Barry:** I’m Barry.  
**Cisco:** Cisco.  
**Barry:** So, I was supposed to be running lines with Iris for the musical, but since she’s not here, would you mind helping me out? I have an audition tomorrow.  
**Cisco:** What? Oh, no, that’s, yeah, of course. Sure.  
**Barry:** Thanks. Hey, and after, you want to maybe go get a Slurpee or something? Well, I mean, two slurpees, not like we’d share one or… They put in a new flavor at the 711 down the street and I haven’t tried it yet.  
**Cisco:** Kiwi Strawberry! It’s awesome.  
**Barry:** Great. … Is that a yes?  
**Cisco:** Oh, right, yes. That’s a… a definite yes.  
*behind the curtain*  
**Iris/Caitlin:** *silent fist bump*  
   
   
**“OUR SUIT"**  
**Barry:** Oh, so when I’m out there trying to save lives, it’s _our_ suit, but when you jump me after a mission and make me cum in my pants, suddenly it’s _my_ suit?!  
**Cisco:** Have fun cleaning your suit, man.  
   
   
**GUILT/REGRET**  
**Cisco:** Not that I’m complaining, but you’ve been really sweet tonight. You made dinner, bought me a candy bouquet, rubbed my feet. Is something wrong?  
**Barry:** No, nothing's… why would you think that? Can’t I just be nice to my boyfriend for a day? Can’t I just love you and want to express how awesome and perfect you are without you questioning my motives?  
**Cisco:** Barry, what did you do?  
**Barry:** Nothing!  
**Cisco:** Barry…  
**Barry:** I… IdeletedthelatestepisodeofWalkingDeadfromtheDVR.  
**Cisco:** You what?!  
**Barry:** I’m sorry!  
**Cisco:** But… but that’s the episode where we find out if Glen is really dead!  
**Barry:** I know and I can’t let you download it, because that’s illegal and I work for the CCPD. I’d have to turn you in.  
**Cisco:** Barry, we do illegal things all the time.  
**Barry:** That’s different. We do those illegal things to save people.  
**Cisco:** Oh, this’ll save someone.  
**Barry:** I don’t…  
**Cisco:** It’ll save you. From never getting into my pants ever again.  
**Barry:** …I suppose I could go take a walk and if you just happen to recover the episode while I’m gone, I won’t ask any questions.  
**Cisco:** You do that.  
   
   
**MOVIE NIGHT**  
**Cisco:** Barry, what are you doing? Barry, stop it. Dude, I’m watching the movie!  
**Barry:** I thought you wanted to Netflix and Chill.  
**Cisco:** Yeah, I wanted to watch Netflix and chill with my boyfriend.  
**Barry:** That’s not what Netflix and Chill means. It’s an excuse to… you know.  
**Cisco:** Okay, first of all, we don’t need an excuse. If you wanted to ‘you know’ all you had to do was ask. Second, if that’s what you wanted, you should have put on something other than Monty Python and the Holy Grail, one of my all time favorite movies ever.  
**Barry:** *pout*  
   
   
**ONE GOES TO THE DARK SIDE WHILE THE OTHER ONE DOESN'T AU**  
**Cisco:** Caitlin, it’s horrible!  
**Barry:** It’s not that bad.  
**Cisco:** Don’t come any closer. I will not be swayed over to the Dark Side by your puppy dog eyes and hollow apologies.  
**Caitlin:** What dark side? What’s going on?  
**Cisco:** He’s been keeping secrets…  
**Barry:** It wasn’t a secret. You never asked.  
**Cisco:** I shouldn’t have to. That’s the kind of thing you share with someone you love. We could have gotten you help.  
**Barry:** This is ridiculous.  
**Caitlin:** Would someone please just tell me what’s going on here?  
**Cisco:** Go ahead, Barry. Tell her.  
**Barry:** I accidentally let it slip that I like Star Trek better than Star Wars. *to Cisco* It’s not that I _hate_ Star Wars. I just _prefer_ Star Trek.  
**Cisco:** How do you sleep at night?  
**Caitlin:** I told you not to tell him.  
**Cisco:** What?!  
**Barry:** I’m sorry. We were… and he _vibed_ me. I can’t exactly lie my way out of that.  
**Caitlin:** You could reset the timeline.  
**Barry:** He’d remember.  
**Caitlin:** But… now how are we going to sneak out once a week to binge watch Star Trek? We just started the Next Generation.  
**Cisco:** I am so disappointed in both of you right now.  
   
   
**UNREQUITED**  
**Cisco:** Sometimes, I just wish that you loved me the way I love you. I know that in the grand scheme of things I am but one of your many admirers and it’s foolish to wish for anything more, but I look at you and I get butterflies in my stomach. My mouth waters at the sight of you, my fingers itch to touch your smooth…  
**Barry:** Cisco, would you stop talking to your Twizzler and get back to work? We have a meta-human to contain.  
   
   
**COFFEE SHOP AU**  
**Iris:** *spills coffee on customer* Oh, god, I’m sorry!  
**Barry:** Iris! Go get some napkins. I’m so sorry. She’s not usually that clumsy.  
**Cisco:** It’s fine. Really.  
**Barry:** I’m Barry. What did you have? I’ll make you another one.  
**Cisco:** Cisco and a triple shot espresso.  
**Barry:** That is some serious caffeine. Addiction or deadline?  
**Cisco:** Both. I work at S.T.A.R. Labs.  
**Barry:** Right, the particle accelerator! I’ve been reading about that, the physics is fascinating. Is it still on schedule to go online next month?  
**Cisco:** Yeah. Maybe. It depends on how good that coffee is.  
**Barry:** Then it’s a good thing I make the best coffee in Central City.  
**Cisco:** I’ve got a thing, for work, but, would you maybe want to go out later? To a movie, or… something?  
**Barry:** Are you asking me on a date?  
**Cisco:** That depends. Are you saying yes?  
**Barry:** I’m definitely not saying no.  
*other side of the cafe*  
**Iris/Caitlin:** *silent fist bump*  
   
   
**BLIND DATE**  
*After Doctor Light blinds him*  
**Cisco:** We should go out.  
**Barry:** What? Why? I can’t see anything.  
**Cisco:** No, it’ll be nice. Dinner, a stroll, it’ll be a…  
**Barry:** Don’t say it.  
**Cisco:** …blind date. *laughing*  
**Barry:** For real? You’re as bad as Captain Cold.  
**Cisco:** Hey now, that was uncalled for.  
   
   
**BODY SWAP**  
**Cisco:** Oh my god, Barry, what are you doing!?  
**Barry:** What?  
**Cisco:** Where am I? What is this? Are we in a supply closet?  
**Barry:** …Cisco?  
**Cisco:** What? No, I’m… *looks at hand, clothes, touches his face* I’m Cisco. Oh my god, I’m _Cisco_! Oh my god, you were _kissing_ Cisco! How long has this been going on?  
**Barry:** …Caitlin?  
**Cisco/Caitlin:** Of course it’s Caitlin, who else would it be?  
**Barry:** …  
**Cisco/Caitlin:** Right, sorry. Is this where the two of you have been sneaking off to for the last few weeks?  
**Barry:** …Hey, Caitlin.  
**Cisco/Caitlin:** Don’t ‘Hey, Caitlin’ me.  
**Caitlin/Cisco:** *knocks on door* Barry? Caitlin? I think I know what that meta-human’s power was!  
   
   
**SOCIAL MEDIA AU**  
*on facebook*  
**Cisco:** Do I know you?  
**Barry:** No, why?  
**Cisco:** You sent me a friend request?  
**Barry:** I don’t think so.  
**Cisco:** Check again.  
**Barry:** Sorry, I stand corrected. I honestly don’t remember doing that, but it says we have two friends in common. Iris is my kind-of sister. I’m not sure who Caitlin Snow is or how she got friended on my account.  
**Cisco:** I work with Caitlin, but I’ve never met Iris. They are friends with each other, though, so... Hey, you don’t think they’d...  
**Barry:** I do. At least, I know Iris would.  
**Cisco:** Are we being set up?  
**Barry:** I think so.  
**Cisco:** We should get even.  
**Barry:** You want to meet at Jitters to discuss a plan?  
**Cisco:** Tomorrow at five thirty work for you?  
**Barry:** Done.  
*in the hall*  
**Iris:** *fist bump emoji*  
**Caitlin:** *fist bump emoji*  
   
   
**VILLAIN**  
**Cisco:** That’s just evil.  
**Barry:** You said you wanted me to role play as a villain.  
**Cisco:** There’s villain and then there’s evil. Not even Eobard Thawne would have spoiled the new Star Wars movie for me.  
   
   
**DISNEY (Land/World)**  
**Barry:** Okay. Open your eyes.  
**Cisco:** Is this what I think it is?  
**Barry:** I know I took our Villain role play a little too far last week…  
**Cisco:** That is a serious understatement.  
**Barry:** So, to make it up to you. Disney World!  
**Cisco:** As awesome as this is and it is really, really awesome. It doesn’t make up for what you did.  
**Barry:** There’s a replica of an AT-AT. Later tonight, I’ll sneak us in and blow you under it.  
**Cisco:** Mr. Allen, that would be a gross misuse of your powers.  
**Barry:** Will it get me out of the doghouse and off the couch?  
**Cisco:** Definitely.  
**Barry:** Then it’s worth it.  
   
   
**CROSSOVER**  
**Barry:** Due to what the author considers ‘standards’ she can’t bring herself to write a crossover.  
**Cisco:** We’ve tried talking her into it. We’ve made suggestions. Supernatural.  
**Barry:** Teen Wolf.  
**Cisco:** Harry Potter.  
**Barry:** Criminal Minds.  
**Cisco:** The Avengers. But she simply refuses. So, I guess we’re just going to have to sit here having sex with each other.  
**Author:** The way canon intended!  
**Barry:** There is nothing canon about what you make us do!  
   
   
**MISTLETOE**  
**Cisco:** I thought we were only supposed to kiss under the mistletoe.  
**Barry:** We’re making new traditions.  
**Cisco:** That one’s gonna be awkward at Joe’s Christmas party.  
   
   
**GENDER SWAP**  
**Barry:** Cisco, what happened? Wait, what’s wrong with my voice?!  
**Cisco:** Due to an unforeseen and completely unavoidable accident you’ve been… um…  
**Barry:** Been what? I feel shorter. Am I shorter?  
**Cisco:** Among other things.  
**Barry:** Wait, are these… Do I have _breasts_? Cisco, what the hell did you do to me?!  
**Cisco:** It was an accident. I had no idea it would actually work.  
**Barry:** What the hell am I supposed to do now? I have work in an hour.  
**Cisco:** Well, obviously, you’ll have to call in sick.  
**Barry:** I can’t call in anywhere, I sound like a girl. I _am_ a girl!  
**Cisco:** Then we’ll have Joe call in for you. Look, the point is, my best guess is that we have twelve hours before this wears off.  
**Barry:** …and?  
**Cisco:** And… *wags eyebrows*  
**Barry:** For real?! You did this on purpose, didn’t you?  
**Cisco:** Are you saying no?  
**Barry:** Of course not. You really think I’m gonna pass this up? Huh. Do my boobs look small to you?  
**Cisco:** They’re perfect.  
   
   
**INSECURITY**  
**Cisco:** I don’t know  
**Barry:** Cisco, it’s fine.  
**Cisco:** I just need five more minutes.  
**Barry:** Baby, I love you and you are adorable, but we’re already late.  
**Cisco:** That’s ironic coming from you.  
**Barry:** I’m serious.  
**Cisco:** But…  
**Barry:** Your hair is perfect.  
**Cisco:** You’re just saying that because there are steaks.  
**Barry:** Why can’t it be both?  
   
   
**COLD**  
**Cisco:** Now, I know we said no anniversary presents, but I got you something anyway.  
**Barry:** Why is Leonard Snart tied to a chair in our living room?  
**Cisco:** Consider it a thank you for being, like, the best boyfriend ever.  
**Snart:** I’m finding this less amusing by the second.  
**Cisco:** Shut up, Captain Cold, or I put the gag back in.  
**Snart:** I dare you to get closer.  
**Cisco:** *steps back*  
**Barry:** Cisco, how did you even manage this?  
**Cisco:** Lisa helped. She said he’d be into it.  
**Snart:** I’m not into it. … Okay, I’m a little into it. Not usually the one tied up, though.  
**Cisco:** See, he’s into it.  
**Barry:** I don’t know.  
**Cisco:** I thought you wanted this.  
**Barry:** No, it’s just… I was kidding before. I mean, he’s hot, but he’s not _you_. I love _you_.  
**Cisco:** Really?  
**Barry:** Yeah.  
**Cisco:** I love you, too.  
**Barry/Cisco:** *kissing*  
**Snart:** That’s great. Sweet.  
**Barry/Cisco:** *continue kissing*  
**Snart:** Could someone untie me now?  
**Barry/Cisco:** *moving to the bedroom*  
**Snart:** Or at least turn the chair so I can get a better view?  
   
   
**DREAMS**  
**Barry:** And then Caitlin turns into Lisa Snart and Oliver passes her off to Dr. Wells – the evil Wells, Eobard Thawne – and Leonard Snart is watching on the side lines, nodding in approval while Mick Rory is chasing a snake around the room with a flame thrower. Then the snake slithers onto the dance floor and Lisa crushes it with her heels and Joe pops out of a closet lecturing everyone on how hard it is to get snake guts out of carpet and that’s when I realize that we’d had S.T.A.R. Labs' floors redone in hunter green shag carpet.  
**Cisco:** …When you said you had a crazy dream you couldn’t wait to tell me about, that’s really not what I was expecting.  
   
   
**LIFEGUARD AU**  
**Cisco:** Who knew impersonating a lifeguard was illegal?  
**Barry:** I did. Cisco, I knew because I work for the police.  
**Cisco:** Well then why didn’t you tell me?  
**Barry:** Because I didn’t know you were planning on showing up at the public pool pretending to be a lifeguard so we could have what you described at kinky lifeguard sex. What the hell is kinky lifeguard sex, anyway?!  
**Cisco:** How could you not know that’s what I had planned? It’s role play Wednesday.  
**Barry:** Role play Wednesday sucks!  
**Cisco:** You love role play Wednesday!  
**Barry:** I do, but I don’t love having to bail my boyfriend out of jail. At least they let you off with a warning. Just, next time, tell me when you’re planning something that doesn’t involve the safety of our apartment.  
**Cisco:** Deal. Now, I have a red Speedo and a life preserver. Do you still want to know what kinky lifeguard sex is?  
**Barry:** Do you promise to keep it in the bedroom?  
**Cisco:** I can live with that.  
   
   
**NEW YEAR'S EVE**  
**Caitlin:** Aw, look at them. They didn’t even make it to midnight. Should we wake them up?  
**Iris:** No, let them sleep.  
**Caitlin:** It’s been a hard year.  
**Iris:** Yeah. I’m glad Barry had someone to help him through it.  
**Caitlin:** Me too. Cisco needed this.  
**Iris:** You ever wonder if Barry had changed the time line whether we all would have even met?  
**Caitlin:** I like to think we would have found a way.  
**Iris:** What about them? Do you think they would have gotten together?  
**Caitlin:** I don’t know. Cisco always has his head in the clouds.  
**Iris:** *chuckles* And Barry can be so blind sometimes. We would have to practically throw them at each other.  
**Caitlin:** But once they met?  
**Iris:** Instant best friends.  
**Caitlin:** Love at first site.  
**Iris:** *laughing softly* Why, Dr. Snow, I never knew you were such a hopeless romantic. Come on, let’s go find the others before they start the countdown without us.  
**Caitlin/Iris:** *walk off*  
**Barry:** Are they gone?  
**Cisco:** *cracks eye open* Yeah.  
**Barry:** Finally! Ready to ring in the New Year?  
**Cisco:** Wait, is this a new tradition?  
**Barry:** Totally.  
**Cisco:** Awesome.


	2. FlashVibe Week 2016 (1/2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Supervisory Agent Harrison Wells has lost complete control over his team and it just goes downhill from there. (No, seriously, it's madness. Spy!Barry and Spy!Cisco infiltrated the rest of the prompts and insinuated themselves into each and every theme through cunning and subterfuge.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Barry and Cisco can’t keep their hands off each other, Eobard is Harry’s evil twin, Iris and Eddie have a four-year-old daughter named Rose, and Jay isn’t completely evil, because I only had seven prompts.

** 1.  SPIES / SECRET AGENTS AU **

**Cisco:**   *runs in the front door* Barry?!  Barry, are you here?!  We need to hurry!  
**Barry:**   In here, is something wrong?  
**Cisco:**   I don’t have time to explain.  We need to leave.  Uh, back stairs?  No, fire escape.  
**Barry:**   What’s going on?  
**Cisco:**   We need to get to the roof.  We’ve got five minutes.  
**Barry:**   Cisco…  
**Cisco:**   No time.  Grab anything important, I’ll get Whiskers in his carrier.  
**Barry:**   No, just stop, okay?  Whatever this is, I can help, I… I’m kind of a secret agent?  Spy, really.  It’s complicated, but whatever this is, I can help.  
**Cisco:**   You’re a spy?  
**Barry:**   Don’t be pissed?  I wanted to tell you, but we’re not allowed.   It’s kind of a big deal.  Like, getting-sent-to-a-secret-underground-prison-and-never-heard-from-again big deal.  
**Cisco:**   Barry, _I’m_ a spy.  
**Barry:**   What?!  For how long?  
**Cisco:**   Pretty much since the day I graduated highschool, but I’ve only been doing field work for the last three years.  You?  
**Barry:**   Same here!  Well, almost.  I was halfway through my first year of college when they approached me.  Wait, didn’t you say we need to get to the roof?  
**Cisco:**   Oh!  Oh, right, uh, yeah, my agency sent me a message.  My identity’s been compromised, we need to jet.  
**Barry:**   Right, but before we go – and I’m really sorry I have to ask this, but it’s kind of important – who do you work for?  
**Cisco:**   That’s a good one!  I should have asked that.  Caitlin is always on me about asking the important questions.  
**Barry:**   Caitlin?  As in, Dr. Caitlin _Snow_?  
**Cisco:**   Yeah!  How do you…  Oh.  We work for the same people, don’t we?  
**Barry:**   Who’s your supervisory agent?  
**Cisco:**   Harrison Wells.  
**Barry:**   Me too.  
**Cisco:**   That _dick_!  He _knew_!  He knew we were dating.  I told him the day I asked you out and he just sat there and smiled, the smug… *gasps* He did this on purpose.  
**Barry:**   Did what?  
**Cisco:**   He set this up!  _He_ sent me the message saying I was compromised.  He’s playing us, because I told him we’re moving in together.  This is his idea of a joke.  
**Barry:**   So, your identity isn’t compromised?  Does that mean we can stay here and watch Deadpool like we planned?  Because I’ve been looking forward to this for months.  
**Cisco:**   No.  We are going to the roof, we are going to take that helicopter back to headquarters, and we are going to give Harry a piece of our minds.  
**Barry:**   …You call him Harry?  
**Cisco:**   Only when he deserves it.  
**Barry:**   So, like, all the time?  
**Cisco:**   Pretty much.  
**Barry:**   Hey, uh, how long do we have before the helicopter gets here?  
**Cisco:**   *looks at his watch* Three minutes, why?  
**Barry:**   I don’t know, the way you got all forceful and demanding there?  That was kind of really hot.  
**Cisco:**   Change of plans.  We’re going to have sex and _then_ we’re going to tell Harry off.  
**Barry:**   What about the helicopter?  
**Cisco:**   It can wait.

 

_*twenty minutes later, tied up in the back of an unmarked van*_

 

 **Cisco:**   Yeah, so, apparently my identity really was compromised.  
**Barry:**   I figured that out when the men with guns burst into our apartment yelling at us in angry Russian.  
**Cisco:**   Sorry.  
**Barry:**   It’s okay, we all make mistakes.  Besides, that was some amazing sex.  It was almost worth the hours of torture we’re going to have to endure before the extraction team gets us out.  
**Cisco:**   Almost?!  Was I off my game?  Did I do something wrong?  Did you not…  
**Barry:**   *kisses him* You were perfect.  I just happen to really value all ten of my fingers and the Russians always go for the fingers.  Like, come on, guys, vary it up a little.  Why not the legs or the feet?  Sure, I won’t be able to walk for a while, but at least then I wouldn’t be struggling to use the iPad with my left hand.  Have you seen me use my left hand for anything?  It’s like watching an untrained chimp trying to put a square peg in a round hole.  
**Cisco:**   That’s fair.  Also, if we get out of this, I’m asking you to marry me.  
**Barry:**   For real?  Why not ask now?  
**Cisco:**   Really?  
**Barry:**   Yes.  
**Cisco:**   Is that a yes as in yes I should ask, or a yes as in…?  
**Barry:**   As in yes.  I’m keeping my last name, though.  
**Cisco:**   I can live with that.  Hey, guys, he said yes!  
**Russian Thug:**  Zatknees! (Shut the hell up)  
**Cisco:**   Well, that’s just rude.

 

 *****

 

**2.  CELEBRITY (SPY) AU**

**Cisco:**   I wanna be the celebrity.  There’s an opening for a Latino singer and you know I can wail on the mic.  
**Barry:**   But if you’re the celebrity, what does that make me?  
**Cisco:**   My adoring fan?  
**Barry:**   No, I want to be your PA.  Then I have to go everywhere with you and do everything for you.  Nobody’ll question it if I follow you into your trailer.  We could be the scandal of the Music Festival.  Latino rock star sleeps with impressionable PA.  
**Cisco:**   Okay, first of all, that’s not that uncommon.  Also, as much I love the idea of having you wait on me, hand and foot, you’re really more functional as an obsessed fanboy.  You can stalk me from the background and if anyone comes after me, they won’t even think to take you out first.  That way if I get caught, you’ll be on the outside, ready to rescue me.  
**Barry:**   I do love a good rescue.  
**Harry:**   Boys, as amusing as you may think it is to watch this little exchange – this is Allen’s mission.  You’re not going with him, Ramon.  
**Cisco:**   Shut up, Harry, you owe us.  
**Harry:**   I owe you nothing.  
**Cisco:**   We’re supposed to be planning our wedding.  We’re missing a cake tasting right now.  A cake tasting.  You know how serious I am about cake.  
**Barry:**   *gravely nodding*  
**Harry:**   *deep breath*  Fine.  
**Barry:**   Okay, but if I have to be the obsessed fanboy, I’m taking creepy pictures of you in the shower and once we have the intel, I get to sneak into your trailer and have my wicked way with you.  
**Cisco:**   Only if you promise to tie me up.  
**Barry:**   Baby, I will gag you.  
**Harry:**   This is why I didn’t want you two to know about each other.  Not on the desk!

 

 *****

 

** 3.  SOULMATE (SPY) AU **

**Eobard:**   Tick tock, boys.  My brother has ten minutes to call back with an answer, or I start breaking things.  
**Cisco:**   He won’t do it.  Harry doesn’t negotiate with kidnappers.  
**Eobard:**   But I’m not _just_ a kidnapper, I’m his evil twin.  Kind of a game changer.  And, besides, *strokes Cisco’s hair* you’re my brother’s favorite.  
**Cisco:**   *pulls away* Harry doesn’t have favorites.  
**Eobard:**   I guess we’ll see won’t we? *goes back to stand by the phone*  
**Cisco:**   I can’t believe Harry didn’t tell us he has an evil twin.  That is so like him!  
**Barry:** *whispers* Cisco, follow my lead.  
**Cisco:**   What lead?  
**Barry:**   *talking louder* Baby, if we don’t make it out of this, I just want you to know that… I mean, I never believed in soulmates.  Love at first sight, maybe, but soulmates?  Not a chance.  Then you ran into my apartment yelling “Barry, are you here?!  We need to hurry!”  The desperate panic in your voice, it was like the world was suddenly in color and you were the brightest thing there.  
**Eobard:**   What is this?  What are you doing?  
**Cisco:**   I know what you mean, man.  I loved you, you were so perfect, but there was something missing.  Not from you, but there was this part of myself I wasn’t allowed to share with you.  Then you told me you were a spy and it was like my heart started beating for the first time.  In that moment, I knew I’d never be able to let you go.  
**Eobard:**   Stop it this instant.  
**Barry:**   I love you so much, baby, we can have a Star Wars themed wedding.  I don’t care.  I just want to marry you.  I’ll even do the light saber battle at the reception.  
**Cisco:**   You have no idea how much that means to me.  If you want to wear the white tuxes, I can give you that.  
**Barry:**   No, if we’re doing Star Wars, it’s all or nothing.  Jedi robes for everyone – me, you, the wedding party, the guests.  
**Cisco:**   I… don’t think I’ve ever loved you as much as I do in this moment.  
**Eobard:**   Oh, for… *kneels in front of them*  Go.  
**Barry:**   For real?  That’s it?  I’ve got another ten minutes of that drivel lined up.  
**Cisco:**   Hey, our love is not drivel!  
**Barry:**   Of course it’s not, but I had a two minute long speech devoted to losing myself in your eyes.  
**Cisco:** Aw, and all I’ve got is three on how good you are at giving head.  
**Barry:**   That is so sweet.  
**Eobard:**   Are you done?  
**Cisco:**   …maybe?  
**Eobard:**   Unleashing the two of you on my brother is a far bigger punishment than forcing him to release Snart and his brutish sidekick.  I’ll find another way, but promise me one thing?  
**Cisco:**   What?  
**Eobard:**   Pictures of my brother in Jedi robes, preferably holding a light saber.  I want to use them for the company Christmas cards.  
**Cisco:**   Done.

 

_*five minutes later*_

 

 **Cisco:**   So, nice speech you gave back there.  
**Barry:**   Yeah. *rubs chaffed wrists* Those were supposed to be my vows, but I guess I kind of spoiled the surprise.  
**Cisco:**   Wait, those were your _vows_?  So you… you really think we’re soulmates?  
**Barry:** *blushing*  Come on, what are the odds?  I meet someone that likes all the same things I do, challenges my intellect, loves karaoke and comic-con, and, not only that, but after spending an entire year falling in love with that person, I find out he works for the same secret organization I do, so now I can share absolutely everything with him.  I think soulmates pretty much sums it up.  Although, I suppose it could also be destiny or…  
**Cisco:**   *shoves Barry into closet*  
**Barry:**   Wait! We need to call Harry and let him know we’re okay.  
**Cisco:**   Later.  *kisses Barry*  
**Barry:**   But... *kiss* ...what if he... *kiss* ...he releases Snart before... *kiss* ...before we get done?  
**Cisco:**  Screw it, we’ve caught Snart before.  *rips off Barry’s shirt*  We’ll do it again.  
**Barry:**   Hold on.  Are we really gonna have sex in the closet of a warehouse owned by Harry’s evil twin brother, who just kidnapped us and threatened to break every bone in our collective bodies until Harry agreed to release two very dangerous criminals?  
**Cisco:**   Yes.  Is that a problem?  
**Barry:**   No, just making sure.

 

 *****

 

** 4\.  COLLEGE / UNIVERSITY (SPY) AU **

**Harry:**   This is a very delicate situation.  The University can’t afford for anyone to find out about it.  So, I’m going to need all four of you.  Discretion is key.  I’ve written up dossiers for each of you.  Garrick, you’re coming in as a substitute professor.  Snow, you’ll be his assistant.  Allen, Ramon, you’re posing as students.  
**Cisco:**   This is so dope.  I’ve always wanted to go to college.  Can we be in a fraternity?  
**Harry:**   No.  
**Cisco:**   Can we _start_ a fraternity?  
**Harry:**   _No._  
**Cisco:**   Dick.  
**Harry:**   As I was saying…  
**Barry:**   Wait, how are we supposed to debrief?  It’ll look suspicious if we have a tutoring session every day, or if the professor and his assistant keep popping over to the dorms to hang out with us.  
**Jay:**   I could hold you after class.  
**Harry:**   Boys…  
**Barry:**   Yeah, but for what?  
**Cisco:**   He could catch me feeling you up under the table.  I’ll be doing that anyway.  
**Barry:**   Disciplinary action would give him a good reason to kick all the other students out of the room.  
**Jay:**   I don’t really think it would be good for the mission if you two got arrested for indecent exposure.  
**Cisco:**   Wouldn’t be the first time.  
**Caitlin:**   That is entirely inappropriate behavior on a mission, not to mention a classroom.  
**Cisco:**   I saw some inappropriate behavior in your lab earlier.  
**Caitlin:**   Cisco, you promised!  
**Barry:**   With whom?  
**Cisco:**   I’ll give you a hint.  He’s 6’2, square jawed and jacked and he’s standing right behind you.  
**Jay:**   I’m 6’4.  
**Barry:**   For real?  This I’ve gotta hear.  
**Harry:**   Absolutely not.  This is not happening in my office.  In fact, *takes the folders back* Garrick, you’re still the professor.  Ramon is now his assistant, Allen and Snow can be students.  There will be no extra-curricular activities.  No fraternity.  If any of you get arrested for anything even remotely involving your genitalia, I will leave you in jail for a month.  
**Cisco:** *whispering to Barry* He won’t.  He loves us.  
**Harry:**   *ignoring him* Hartley is updating your phones so that you can use those to debrief via secure text messaging.  You don’t even need to be in the same room together.  In fact, with the exception of any necessary subterfuge, Allen and Ramon are never to be left alone together.  *sighs* It’s like babysitting horny teenagers with boundary issues and licenses to kill.  I envy Agent Lance and his team of mature adults.  
**Cisco:**   Oh, no, you do not want in on that drama.

 

*****

 

** 5.  FAKE DATING (SPY)  **

**Cisco:**   You know, when you called us into your office to tell us you had a mission and you needed two agents to pretend to be a couple to infiltrate a social gathering, I thought were you talking about Barry and me.  
**Harry:**   Why would I ask you and Allen to _pretend_ to be a couple when you are, in fact, engaged?  That makes no sense, Ramon.  
**Cisco:**   Neither does sending my bae in hanging off the arm of Jay Garrick while I sit in a van, monitoring surveillance with you.  
**Harry:**   Jay Garrick has a very unique set of skills that are vital to this mission.  
**Cisco:**   And what skills are those exactly?  
**Harry:**   He looks fantastic in a suit.  
**Cisco:**   That’s not a skill!  
**Harry:**   Perhaps not.  However, it is very good at drawing attention, which will allow Allen to slip away unnoticed.  
**Cisco:**   I can draw attention.  
**Harry:**  Throwing yourself around the dance floor like a thirteen year old having a seizure is not ‘drawing attention’ it’s embarrassing yourself.  
**Cisco:**   It’s both.  
**Harry:**  That’s why I don’t give you the classy assignments.  Now, if you don’t mind, we have a job.  Do you have a visual on Allen?  
**Cisco:**   …Yes.  Yes, I do.

 

_*meanwhile, inside the social gathering*_

 

 **Barry:**   Jay, why is your hand on my ass?  
**Jay:**   It’s a really nice ass.  
**Barry:**   And?  
**Jay:**   And Wells is paying me extra to piss off your little fiancé.  
**Barry:**   That sounds more like it.  …  Jay, it’s still there.  
**Jay:**   I know.

 

*****

 

**6. OTHER EARTH (SPY)  
**

**Barry:**   I can’t believe the multiverse is real!  That’s another you!  And another me!  We’re on another _Earth_!  This is so crazy.  
**Cisco:**   I guess.  
**Barry:**   You guess?  You wrote your thesis paper on the viable science behind Sliders.  You love the theory of the multi-verse.  You should be excited.  Why aren’t you excited?  Cisco, is something wrong?  
**Cisco:**   No, it’s just… this Earth kind of sucks.  
**Barry:**   How does it suck?  I’m a freakin’ superhero!  
**Cisco:**   And I’m happy for you, it’s just… I’m… not.  A superhero, I mean.  
**Barry:**   No, you’re a mechanical engineer that makes cool toys to help me beat the bad guys.  You love making cool toys.  You spend half your down time in the work shop with Hartley, helping him improve, tinker with, and test our latest gadgets.  Besides, didn’t they say you made the Flash suit?  
**Cisco:**   Well…  
**Barry:**   Come on, even I have to admit my ass looks good in that tri-polymer.  Almost as good as your ass does in those jeans.  
**Cisco:**   Hey, eyes over here, Amorcito.  
**Barry:**   I’m sorry, are you jealous?  
**Cisco:**   Uh, no.  What do I have to be jealous of?  He’s me.  
**Barry:**   Then you won’t mind if I pop over there and ask them to join us.  
**Cisco:**   *glares* Don’t you dare.  
**Barry:**   That’s what I thought.  Hey, I overheard the other Cisco say something about extra suits.  Want to see if we can find one?  
**Cisco:**   Are you suggesting we steal from ourselves so we can study the technology?  
**Barry:**   Well, that and…  
**Cisco:**   That and…  
**Barry:**   *wags eyebrows*  
**Cisco:**   Oh, you want to get freaky in it!  
**Barry:**   Sh!  Not so loud.  But yes.  
**Cisco:**   Come on, those two look like they’ll be busy for a while.

 

_*Earth Prime - shortly after returning Barry and Cisco back to their Earth*_

 

 **Cisco:**   Barry, did you borrow one of the spare suits?  
**Barry:**   No.  
**Cisco:**   Are you sure?  
**Barry:**   Yeah, why?  
**Cisco:**   There’s one missing.  I’ve looked everywhere, but… wait, you don’t think?  
**Barry:**   That our doppelgangers might have made off with it?  Probably.  Relax, you can make another one.  
**Cisco:**   How many times do I have to tell you guys?  Those things don’t grow on trees.  
**Barry:**   I’ll get Chinese and keep you company.  
**Cisco:**   At least tell me they stole it for science.  
**Barry:**   Soooo, you want me to lie?  
**Cisco:**   *breathes deep* Yes.  
**Barry:**   Okay, they stole it for science.  They’re going to use it to reverse-engineer your clearly superior tech.  
**Cisco:**   Thank you.  
**Barry:**   Then they’re gonna take it home for some wild and kinky role play sex.  FYI, I caught Secret Spy Cisco taking pictures of your Vibe glasses.  What do you think?  Does he go Vibe or Reverb?  
**Cisco:**   Not cool, man!  You are a _horrible_ liar.

 

 *****

 

 ** 7.  FAIRY TALE (SPY) AU  
** _(Rose is Iris and Eddie’s four year old daughter.  Just go with it)_

 **Cisco:**   Once upon a time, there was a knight and he met a boy in the village.  He thought the boy was very handsome and kind and smart and he fell madly in love with him.  
**Rose:**   Like you and Uncle Barry?  
**Cisco:**   Exactly, princess.  What he didn’t know was that the boy was actually a prince.  Then one day, soldiers from a neighboring kingdom came and they took the prince.  
**Rose:**   Why?  
**Cisco:**   Because they wanted something the king had.  So, the king called the knight to his castle and asked him to save the prince.  When the knight realized who the prince was, he swore that he would do anything to save him, even use his secret special powers.  
**Rose:**   Powers?  
**Cisco:**   He could manipulate vibrational frequencies in the air around him to throw shock waves out of his hands.  
**Rose:**   Awesome!  
**Cisco:**   That’s right it’s awesome.  The knight stormed the castle where the evil soldiers were keeping his prince and he threw down.  
**Rose:**   Threw down?  
**Cisco:**   He beat the shiznit out of ‘em, princess.  
**Rose:**   Yay!  
**Barry:**   *facepalm*  
**Cisco:**   Then he used his powers to make sure they could never hurt anyone ever again.  
**Rose:**   And did he save the prince?  
**Cisco:**   He did and they lived happily ever after.  
**Rose:**   Thanks, Uncle Cisco, you tell the best fairy tales.  
**Cisco:**  No problem.  Now, it’s time for bed.

 

_*after Rose is asleep*_

 

 **Barry:**   You need to watch the slang. *sighs* Iris had to tell her mofo is short for More Forever.  It’s so awkward when she yells ‘I love you mofo!’ in public.  
**Cisco:**   I know. *chuckles* It’s also just about the cutest thing ever, which is why you won’t tell her to stop doing it.  
**Barry:**   I don’t tell her to stop, because then I’d have to explain why.  I’m leaving that conversation up to Iris and Eddie.  
**Cisco:**   Man, I can’t wait till we have kids.  
**Barry:**   Wait, you… you want to have kids?  
**Cisco:** Totes!  At least one.  I’m not up for the whole house in the suburbs thing, but maybe a three bedroom townhome in the city, close to parks and that fancy private school Iris has Rose enrolled in.  If it’s a girl, we can name her Nora and I’d say Henry for a boy, but I don’t know if that’s weird ‘cause your dad’s still alive.  How would you feel about…  
**Barry:**   *kisses Cisco*  
**Cisco:**   What was that for?  
**Barry:**   Rose’s right, you tell the best fairy tales.  
**Cisco:**   It’s only a fairy tale if it doesn’t come true.


	3. FlashVibe Week 2016 (2/2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reverb is a villain leading a small band of meta-humans on a crime spree. Except lately, he hasn’t been robbing banks or tech companies. He’s been breaking into local warehouses, taking bulk supplies of toothbrushes and shoes and one time, ten boxes of stuffed animals and Barry’s really confused, but he’s not about to look a gift horse in the mouth. At least, until that gift horse starts taking hostages.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Despite my best intentions, Reverb got into my head and then rudely refused to leave. I apologize. Also, Thea Queen's line of Super Hero Themed Sex Toys is a reference to a previous script play that I did for Arrow, [The Not So Secret Identity of Oliver Queen](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2790488)

**1.  AU DAY**

**Reverb** :  Flash.  
**Flash** :  Reverb.  
**Reverb** :  I was beginning to think you wouldn’t show.  
**Flash** :  You took hostages and your only demand was to fight me.  That not exactly an offer I can refuse.  
**Reverb** :  Well, in my defense, you don’t usually show up for warehouse alarms unless there’s a really good reason.  Also, not my words.  I said, ‘get me the Flash.’  I just want to talk.  No fighting.  Promise.  
**Flash** : You want to talk to me?  
**Killer Frost** :  He has a crush.  
**Reverb** :  Shut up, Cailtin!  
**Firestorm** :  He’s been trying to get your attention for weeks now.  
**Reverb** :  Ronnie, I will sonic blast you through that wall.  
**Flash** :  Wait, I’m confused.  You _like_ me?  
**Reverb** :  Is it that hard to believe?  I mean, come on, have you seen yourself in that suit?  
**Flash** :  If you wanted to talk, you could have just contacted the police, you didn’t need to take hostages.  They must be terrified.  
**Firestorm** :  Not really.  He had Caitlin make them snow cones.  
**Flash** :  *to Killer Frost* You used your powers to make _snow cones_?  
**Killer Frost** :  And like I told them, if you tell anyone, I will hunt you down and freeze off your…  
**Reverb** :  Frost, finish loading the van!  *to Flash*  So, how about it?  You promise to go on one date and I’ll let all the hostages go.  
**Firestorm** :  He’s letting them go, anyway.  Reverb here doesn’t have the stomach for real violence.  That’s why he has us.  Besides, he wouldn’t want to risk pissing off his precious Flash by hurting innocent…  
**Reverb** : *sonic blasts Firestorm into the wall*  
**Flash** :  But… I… you’re a villain and I’m… I’m the Flash.  
**Killer Frost** :  He’s hardly a villain anymore.  We’ve spent the last few weeks making deliveries to homeless shelters and hospitals.  
**Reverb** :  You do realize I can kill you without a second thought?  
**Killer Frost** :  But you won’t.  
**Flash** :  Let me make sure I’m getting this.  You’ve been stealing things to donate to charity, because you were trying to get my attention, and you’ve taken hostages so I’ll be forced to show up and you can ask me out on a date?  
**Reverb** :  Well?  
**Flash** :  Are we talking a date as Reverb and the Flash or whoever I am under this mask with whoever you are under that eyeliner?  
**Reverb** : *smiles* Like I said, have you seen yourself in that suit?  
**Flash** :  *blushing* I’ll probably regret this, but okay.  
**Reverb** :  Okay?  
**Flash** :  One date.  I’ll meet you at the lookout Saturday night at eleven p.m. and we’ll go from there.  
**Killer Frost** :  Holy shit, it worked.  Baby, wake up, it worked.  
**Firestorm** :  *rubs the back of his head*  Damn, I lost the bet.  
**Flash** :  *looks over at them nervously, then back at Reverb* And just us.  Leave the sidekicks at home.  
**Reverb** :  Trust me, Flash, I don’t want an audience for what I plan to do to you.  
**Flash** :  Don’t get ahead of yourself, Reverb.  It’s one date.  
**Reverb** :  Oh, don’t worry, I’m not.  I can tell there’s a little bad in you, Flash, and I fully intend to find it.  
**Flash** :  Yeah, maybe there’s a little good in you.  
**Reverb** :  If things work out the way I want, there will be.  
**Killer Frost** :  Ew.  
**Flash** :  What are you…?  Oh!  No, absolutely not.  That is _not_ happening.  
**Reverb** :  We’ll see.  Until Saturday, Flash. * gets in van and drives off*  
**Flash** :  Oh, I’m definitely going to regret this.

_*Saturday, 12:30 a.m.*_

**Reverb** :  *kiss* If it’s any consolation *kiss* I didn’t actually think this would *kiss* work.  
**Flash** :  *pulls away* Wait, what did you think would happen?  
**Reverb** :  I kind of expected you to bring backup and try to take me in.  
**Flash** :  For real?  Then why bother?  
**Reverb** :  What can I say, Flash?  I’m a sucker for a guy in leather.  
**Flash** :  Tri-polymer and it’s Barry. *kiss*  
**Reverb** :  *pulls away* Barry?  
**Flash** :  My name, it’s Barry.  You’re half naked on my couch.  I figure that’s first-name-basis material.  
**Reverb** :  *kiss* Cisco and we should move this to the bedroom.  
**Flash** :  Right. *kiss*  
//dissolves into a much more mature rating//

 

 

**2.  SOCIAL MEDIA AU**

**Barry** :  *knocking on the door* Cisco!  *more knocking* Open this door right now or I swear to God I’m phasing through it.  
**Caitlin** :  Sounds like someone’s in trouble.  
**Cisco** :  Shut up.  Stay out of sight.  
**Caitlin** :  Whatever you say, boss.  I’ll be in my room doing unspeakable things to Ronnie.  
**Cisco** :  Just keep it down.  *opens door* Barry!  What brings you to my lair?  
**Barry** :  *stops just inside the door* You call this a lair?  
**Cisco** :  What would you call it?  
**Barry** :  A two bedroom loft in the middle of downtown with a gourmet kitchen and a sixty inch flat screen?  
**Cisco** :  It’s also got sick surround sound.  You should hear the way porn bounces off these walls.  It’s like you’re right there.  
**Barry** :  *ignored last statement* How much is the rent on this place?  
**Cisco** :  A small fortune.  Who says crime doesn’t pay?  *holds out hand*  Twizzler?  
**Barry** :  What?  No, that’s not why I’m here.  I saw your blog.  
**Cisco** :  It’s cool, right?  What do you think of the new name?  Vibe.  Like Reverb, but different.  Kind of like how The Arrow changed his name to the Green Arrow and everyone was expected to pretend they didn’t know it was the same person.  
**Barry** :  Villains can’t have blogs, Cisco.  They’re traceable.  
**Cisco** :  I’m struggling not to be insulted by the implication that I can’t cover my tracks on the internet.  Also, not a villain anymore.  More of a… vigilante.  Ugh, I can’t believe I just said that.  I’m so disappointed in myself.  
**Barry** :  *ignores last statement* Okay, well, vigilantes don’t have blogs, either.  The Green Arrow doesn’t have one, neither does the Black Canary, or me.  
**Cisco** :  Maybe you should.  You could get in touch with your fans.  Let them see you as a person.  
**Barry** :  I don’t need them to see me as a person.  I need them to see me as a hero and you need to stay under the radar.  
**Cisco** :  But I’m bored!  Robbing Walmart Distribution takes a lot less planning than breaking into Palmer Tech.  Or Mercury or S.T.A.R. Labs.  Man, they have the best toys.  *wistful sigh*  
**Barry** :  You may be giving everything to charity, but you’re still stealing.  You’re still wanted by the police.  A blog is just another vulnerability.  You can’t afford that.  If they catch you, they’ll put you in with the other meta-humans.  They’ll eat you alive.  You’ll be someone’s bitch in less than twenty-four hours.  
**Cisco** :  Again, struggling not to be insulted.  I’m not a helpless little kitten, Barry.  I can hold my own.  
**Barry** :  You know what I mean.  
**Cisco** :  What if I promise to be extra careful?  
**Barry** :  Cisco…  
**Cisco** :  Cross my heart and hope to die?  
**Barry** :  That’s not… wait, are those Flash symbols on your pants?!  
**Cisco** :  Just now noticing that, huh?  Wait till you see what I’ve gone on under them. *pulls Barry down into a kiss* I’ll give you a hint.  Nothing.  
**Barry** :  You’re trying to distract me.  
**Cisco** :  It’s not trying if it’s working.

_*the next morning-_

**Barry** :  *groggily gets his coffee*  
**Caitlin** :  *winks from across the couch* Rough night, tiger?  
**Barry** :  What are you doing here?  
**Caitlin** :  I live here.  
**Barry** :  Of course you do.  *sips coffee* Firestorm, too?  
**Caitlin** :  One big happy family.  
**Barry** :  Right.  *goes back to the bedroom* You didn’t tell me you had roommates.  
**Cisco** :  My mouth was otherwise occupied.  
**Barry** :  Hm.  
**Cisco** :  Are you mad?  
**Barry** :  You know, I probably should be, but I’m not.  Just promise none of this is going to end up on your blog.  
**Cisco:** Promise.  
**Barry:** Now take your fingers out from behind your back, uncross them, and say it again.  
**Cisco:** Spoilsport.

 

 

**3.  POLY DAY**

**Barry** :  Cisco?  
**Cisco** :  Yes.  
**Barry** :  Why is there another you handcuffed in my bed?  
**Cisco** :  I’m so glad you asked.  Do you remember the other day when I told you I could reach through the vibrations of the universe into other dimensions and you so rudely refused to believe me without proof?  Well, meet proof.  
**Earth 1-Cisco** :  Hey.  
**Barry** :  Okay, that’s… amazing, but that doesn’t explain the handcuffs.  
**Cisco** :  Despite that ridiculous t-shirt and the puppy-dog eyes, he’s me.  
**Earth 1-Cisco** :  This shirt isn’t ridiculous.  It’s an Aliens take on the classic Jurassic Park logo.  
**Cisco** :  It’s cute you’d think I know what that means.  
**Barry** :  I’m still confused about the handcuffs.  
**Cisco** :  They prevent him from using his powers.  Just because he hasn’t realized his full potential, doesn’t mean it isn’t there.  
**Earth 1-Cisco** :  Are we done yet?  You said I could go home when you’d convinced him.  He looks pretty convinced to me.  
**Barry** :  Oh, I’m convinced.  
**Cisco** : *sits on bed*  
**Earth 1-Cisco** :  *scoots away*  
**Cisco** :  I could take you home.  
**Earth 1-Cisco** : I’m sensing a ‘but.’  
**Barry** :  *chuckles*  
**Earth 1-Cisco** : Bro.  Not cool.  
**Barry** :  Sorry.  
**Earth 1-Cisco** :  *to Cisco* You were saying?  
**Cisco** :  It’s less of a ‘but,’ more of an ‘or.’  Usually, I’m a little territorial with my things.  I never was big on sharing, not even with Dante, but for you?  I could make an exception.  
**Earth 1-Cisco** : What?  I don’t…  
**Cisco** : *grins*  
**Barry** : *blushes*  
**Earth 1-Cisco** : *looks at Cisco, then Barry, then Cisco* Are you for real?  Is there any universe out there where I’m _not_ banging my best friend?  
**Cisco** :  Not many.  So, what do you say?  
**Earth 1-Cisco** : I…  
**Cisco** :  And don’t try to tell me you don’t think about him that way.  I’ve Vibed you often enough to know what you fantasize about when you touch yourself at night.  
**Earth 1-Cisco** : Dios mio, that is not okay!  When this is over, you are never allowed to vibe me again.  
**Cisco** :  Is that a yes?  
**Earth 1-Cisco** : *sigh*  This had better not get back to my Barry.  
**Barry** :  Is anyone gonna ask if _I’m_ okay with this?  
**Cisco/** **Earth 1-Cisco** : *laughing*  
**Cisco** :  That’s adorable, now get over here.

 

 

**4.  NEIGHBORS/ROOMMATES AU**

**Cisco** :  You should move in with me.  
**Barry** :  Huh?  *pauses the movie*  I should what?  
**Cisco** :  Move in with me.  Since you’ve restricted my methods of revenge to strictly legal means…  
**Barry** :  No killing, no stealing, no vandalizing, and no kidnapping – but what does revenge have to do with me moving in?  
**Cisco** :  Ronnie and Caitlin.  
**Barry** :  What?  
**Cisco** :  I’ve had two years of them fucking like rabbits in a loft with no bedroom ceilings.  I can hear everything.  Caitlin likes to narrate and she denies it, but I think she does it to torture me.  Last night Ronnie had apparently been a very bad boy.  She made him get on all fours so she could spank him.  It was thirty swats before she ‘applied ice’ and fingered him while he ate her out.  The whole thing took twenty minutes.  
**Barry** :  That’s horrifying.  
**Cisco** :   So, move in with me and help me get revenge by having loud, obnoxious sex in my room.  And in the shower.  And the kitchen.  
**Barry** :  I’m not moving in with you so you can get revenge on your roommates.  If anyone is moving in with anyone, it would be you moving in with me to get away from them.  
**Cisco** :  Okay.  
**Barry** :  What?  No!  Cisco, you can’t move in with me.  I live with my dad and he’s a detective.  The only reason he hasn’t realized you’re the Vibe is because he’s only met you once for less than five seconds.  
**Cisco** :  Well, then, we’ll just have to get our own place.  There’s an available two bedroom in my building on the top floor.  It needs work, but the views are fantastic and I’m the landlord, so we can do whatever we want to it.  
**Barry** :  You own the building?!  
**Cisco** :  It’s called diversifying your assets, Barry, and it wasn’t like Caitlin and Ronnie could walk in and sign a lease.  Not to mention, I didn’t exactly have traceable income, but I had disposable cash.  So, I bought it.  
**Barry** :  If you own the building, why didn’t you just move into another unit before now?  
**Cisco** :  Didn’t have a reason to.  
**Barry** :  And now you do?  
**Cisco** :  Depends.  Are you saying you’ll move in with me?  
**Barry** :  You’re for real about this, aren’t you?  
**Cisco** :  I’m also beginning to feel a little insecure, so if you could just go ahead and say yes, that would…  
**Barry** :  Yes.  
**Cisco** :  Good, because I finished the renovations yesterday and I’d like to get us moved in this week.  
**Barry** :  Wait, you planned this?  
**Cisco** :  Oh, amorcito, I plan everything.

 

 

** 5.  FREE DAY **

**Barry** :  What are we doing?  
**Cisco** :  Eating breakfast?  
**Barry** :  No, not what are we doing right now.  What are we doing in this relationship?  Why are you with me?  
**Cisco** :  Your abs.  I could bounce a quarter off them, it’s very enticing.  Scientifically speaking.  
**Barry** :  I’m serious.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining.  Despite the fact that you can be a pain in my ass, I actually like you, but I just don’t get it.  You spend years as a villain, stealing millions of dollars worth of prototypes and cash, and then one day you up and decide to become some kind of hero because you want to be with me when we’ve never even spoken more than a handful of words to each other.  
**Cisco** :  …  
**Barry** :  Come on, Cisco, give me something, because the sex is great and if that’s all this is, fine, we can keep doing it until we get tired of it or find something better, but I at least want to know.  
**Cisco** :  *stares intently at cereal bowl*   You know what the worst part about my powers are?  The Vibes.  I know what people really want from me, I know what they say behind my back, and I know what they’re planning to do if I drop my guard long enough for them to do it.  Discovering my powers, meant discovering that everyone I thought was my friend was just using me and I was a joke to them because I didn’t know it.  
**Barry** :  I’m sorry.  
**Cisco** :  *shrugs*  Don’t be.  I’d rather know.  Most of the people I’ve met don’t care about anything other than themselves and what they can get out of me.  Caitlin and Ronnie can be jerks, but at least they respect me enough to be honest.  Then I Vibed you and you’re… _you_.  You remind me of the hopeless little optimist I used to be, except you know what people can be like, you just don’t care.  You refuse to give up on them.  It’s annoying and frustrating and inspiring all at the same time.  I Vibed you a few more times after that, figured eventually I’d get something bad, but the worst thing you do is drink orange juice out of the carton – which, by the way, stop.  It’s disgusting.  
**Barry** :  I’m in a hurry!  
**Cisco** :  You’re a speedster.  I refuse to believe you can’t take five seconds to use a glass.  So, yeah, the more I Vibed you, the more I wanted to get to know you, but I knew you wouldn’t want anything to do with me as a villain, so I changed that and, much to my surprise, you’re worth it.  You’re everything I thought you were and more.  I actually don’t mind giving up my life of crime if it means I get to eat breakfast with you every morning.  
**Barry** :  Cisco…  
**Cisco** :  And don’t worry, I won’t go back to being Reverb if you decide to break up with me.  I like this me.  I like having fans and a blog and people who look up to me.  
**Barry** :  I like you, too.  
**Cisco** :  Then could you do me a favor?  If anyone asks, tell them I’m just in it for the sex.  I’ve already lost half my street cred running charity to get in your pants, the least you can do is help maintain what little dignity I have left in the underworld.  
**Barry** :  You’re hopeless.  
**Cisco** :  Maybe, but I’m yours.

 

 

**6.  SMUT DAY  
**

**Cisco** :  How do you feel about sex toys?  
**Barry** :  No.  
**Cisco** :  Don’t be so close-minded.  
**Barry** :  We have our hands full dealing with our own super powers in the bedroom, or did you forget the time you accidentally blew a hole in the headboard? **\**  
Cisco:  I will never forget that.  It was the most intense orgasm I’ve ever had.  It’s just that, as a villain, my relationships tend to be few and far between.  
**Barry** :  That has nothing to do with you being a villain.  
**Cisco** :  Hush.  Now, occasionally, I fill that gap with one of my many toys.  And I’m not talking about fancy tech.  
**Barry** :  I’m suddenly very uncomfortable with where this is going.  
**Cisco** :  About a year ago, I discovered Thea Queen’s line of super hero themed sex toys.  
**Barry** :  *blushes* Oh dear God.  
**Cisco** :  For instance, the Green Arrow.  Unlike its predecessor the Arrow, it’s not a strap on, but it’s still has the cone tip with a base slightly wider than the twelve inch shaft.  
**Barry** :  *pulls a pillow over his head*  
**Cisco** :  *takes pillow away*  Now this, I love.  The Black Canary has a prostate tickler guaranteed to make your partner scream.  And then, there’s the Flash.  
**Barry** :  *buries himself under the blankets*  
**Cisco** :  It has a very unique vibration, soft but satisfying.  Like most of her products, it’s silicone based, but the vibration is designed to run equally through the entire length of the shaft, base to tip.  I’d never felt anything quite like it, until the first time I had my hand around you.  
**Barry** :  I hate you so much right now.  
**Cisco** :  I know, but it felt so much like you, it made me wonder if she knew you.  Does she, Barry?  And don’t bother lying or I’ll Vibe you and find out for myself.  
**Barry** :  I should have known she was up to no good when she asked me to vibrate for her.  
**Cisco** :  Perfect.  I wanna meet her.  
**Barry** :  What?  No!  
**Cisco** :  Why not?  
**Barry** :  You’re both devious master minds and I don’t trust you in the same room together.  
**Cisco** :  But you _are_ going to introduce me to her.  
**Barry** :  I don’t think so.  
**Cisco** :  Really?  Let’s see what the Green Arrow has to say about that.

_*two days later*_

**Barry** :  Cisco Ramon, Thea Queen.  Thea Queen, Cisco Ramon, my boyfriend.  
**Cisco** :  I’m a huge fan of your work.  
**Thea** :  My… work?  
**Barry** : *coughing into hand* Sex Toys.  
**Thea** :  Oh!  Right.  Of course.  Thank you.  
**Cisco** :  No, thank _you_.  *winks*  
**Barry** :  *blushes and considers hiding under the table*  
**Cisco** :  So, tell me, have you ever considered doing a Villain Line?

 

 

** 7.  VILLAINS/PARTNERS IN CRIME AU **

**Barry** :  I can’t believe I’m letting you talk me into this.  
**Cisco** :  It’s mine, Barry.  I built it, I get to keep it.  Not him.  
**Barry** :  Technically, you stole it first…  
**Cisco** :  No, I stole the parts to make it.  
**Barry** :  That’s kind of the same thing.  
**Cisco** :  No, it’s not.  Do you have any idea how much time and energy I put into that?  How many nights I stayed up working out all the little details, making sure it was just right?  Do you know how difficult it was to make an exact replica of the 1970’s Sonic Screw Driver only to have Hartley steal it?  No, absolutely not.  
**Barry** :  But isn’t that your thing?  I thought you two stole from each other all the time?  
**Cisco** :  Yes, art work, cash, left socks, but never the important things.  I would never touch his Hearing Aids or his Gauntlets and he knows better than to mess with my tech.  
**Barry** :  Wait _tech_?  I thought it was just a toy model.  Does that thing actually _do_ something?  
**Cisco** : …No.  
**Barry** :  Cisco, what does it do?  
**Cisco** :  Don’t worry about that.  What’s important right now is, he did this to draw me out and if it’s war he wants, it’s war he’ll get.  
**Barry** :  You never said anything about war!  
**Cisco** :  It’s the Pied Piper, of course it’s war.  Now, suit up, this is gonna be fun.


	4. FlashVibe Week 2017

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With the exception of the last one, all prompts are set in Season Three. Hope you enjoy!

** 1\. EARTH-2 AU  
** _//Set between Episodes 3:07 and 3:08//_

 **Barry** :  Wait, so, you finally master inter-dimensional travel – super cool by the way, high five for that.  *holds up hand*  
**Cisco** :  No.  
**Barry** :  Right.  So, you master inter-dimensional travel and the first thing you do with it is bring me here so we can, what?  Have sex in Harry’s office?  
**Cisco** :  I believe I said on his desk.  
**Barry** :  You did.  
**Cisco** :  Is that a problem?  
**Barry** :  Not really, just, I thought you were still mad at me.  
**Cisco** :  I am, but remember that list of rules Harry gave us last year – the one with everything we weren’t allowed to do while we were on his Earth?  
**Barry** :  It was _very_ detailed.  
**Cisco** :  I promised him I would find a way to break each and every rule on that list, but we were too busy with Zoom to break even one.  
**Barry** :  Except the rule about getting captured and/or killed.  
**Cisco** :  Thanks for pointing that out.  It helps.  
**Barry** :  Sorry.  
**Cisco** :  The point is.  We’re here, he’s not, and I have a list I need to plow through, which means I need to plow through you or… into you and vice versa and my doppleganger’s dead, but I’m pretty sure yours is still alive, so we’ll need to find him and Iris for the orgy.  So, you with me?  
**Barry** :  Will it make you any less mad at me?  
**Cisco** :  Not really, but it’ll get even with Harry for all the times he cock-blocked us.  
**Barry** :  Fine, but can we also break the one about not touching any of his awards?  
**Cisco** :  Done.

 

 ** 2\. FAKE EXES / PRETEND NOT MARRIED / SECRET RELATIONSHIP AU ** _\  
//Set between Episodes 3:10 and 3:11//_

 **Caitlin** :  Barry, we, um, we need to talk  
**Barry** :  What’s up?  Hey, Julian, what are you doing here?  
**Julian** :  Moral support mostly.  
**Barry** :  Ooookay.  HR?  
**HR** :  I love a good plot twist.  Coffee?  
**Caitlin** :  No, no more coffee, just… Barry, sit down.  Look, I know you and Cisco are having a rough patch and you’re trying to give him some space, but I think you might want to… Julian, a little help?  
**Julian** :  Step up your game, mate.  
**HR** :  You need to woo him.  Sweep him up into your arms and…  
**Barry** :  I’m gonna stop you right there.  It’s fine, okay?  Really.  Cisco just needs some time.  Everything’ll get back to normal soon, you’ll see.  
**Caitlin** :  About that.  I’m not supposed to say anything, but… *looks to Julian and HR*  
**Julian** / **HR** :  *look anywhere else*  
**Caitlin** :  Some moral support you are.  Barry, Cisco’s been seeing someone else.  
**Barry** :  No, he would have told me.  
**Caitlin** :  Not necessarily.  Especially if he didn’t think you’d approve.  
**Barry** :  Who could he possible be seeing that I wouldn’t…  
**Caitlin** :  Mick Rory  
**Barry** : Heatwave?!  
**HR** :  That’s the one.  With the shoulders and the… *mock severe scowl*  
**Barry** : How long has this been going on?  
**Caitlin** :  Only a few weeks.  
**Barry** :  A few _weeks_?!  Why didn’t you tell me sooner?  
**Caitlin** :  I didn’t want to upset you and, honestly, I thought it was just a one time date because he was mad at you, but yesterday he said he spent the night with him, so…  
**Barry** :  He spent the night with him?!  Hold on.  *flashes away, flashes back with Cisco in his pajamas* You spent the night with Mick?!  
**Cisco** :  What are you… *looks around the room*  Oh, wait to go, Caitlin.  That was supposed to be a secret.  
**Caitlin** :  I know and I’m sorry, but I’m worried about you.  
**Barry** :  Don’t blame her when you’re the one shacking up with a known criminal.  He held you prisoner, punched you in the face, and he nearly blew up Caitlin.  
**Cisco** :  But he didn’t.  
**Barry** : Because we stopped him!  
**Cisco** : You know what?  No, you don’t get a say in this, anymore.  We broke up.  
**Barry** :  We didn’t break up, we’re taking a break.  
**Cisco** :  And that’s different how?  
**Barry** :  It… just is!  Okay?  You can’t date a murdering, psychopathic, pyromaniac just because you’re trying to get even with me!  
**Julian** :  Boys, I think we should just have a seat and talk this out like reasonable…  
**Cisco** :  Stay out of this, Julian!  
**Julian** :  Fair enough.  
**Cisco** :  And you.  *points to Caitlin* Should really see the look on your face.  
**Barry** :  Ah, man, I thought we were supposed to keep going for another five minutes?  
**Cisco** :  I’m sorry, I couldn’t.  
**Caitlin** :  What’s going on?  
**Julian** :  I believe they were having us on.  
**HR** : *shakes his head* Classic Francisco.  
**Caitlin** :  There’s nothing classic about this!  *turns on Cisco and Barry*  What is wrong with you two?  Have you been pretending to fight this whole time?  
**Barry** :  Of course not.  
**Cisco** :  We only made up a few weeks ago, but I had the best idea for an April Fools prank, so we kept it under cover.  
**Barry** : Well, not literally.  
**Cisco** :  God no, we’ve had sex all over this place while you were out.  
**Julian** :  *looks down at the table he’s leaning on and slowly removes hand from it*  
**Caitlin** :  _April Fools_?  It’s January!  
**Cisco** :  If we’d waited till April, you would’ve figured it out.  Besides, I don’t think we could have kept it up that long.  
**Barry** :  Speak for yourself.  
**Cisco** :  Excuse me?  
**Barry** :  You heard me.  
**Cisco** :  Oh, we are going back to my lab right now to see who can keep it up longer.  Catch you all later and, uh, don’t come in the lab.  That means you, HR.  
**HR** :  On my honor!  Tsk, those two. *leaves whistling a happy tune*  
**Caitlin** :  *breathes deep*  
**Julian** :  This is what you meant by them being insufferable?  
**Caitlin** :  Yes!  
**Julian** :  Right, I’ll just shut up then. 

 

**3.** **MAGIC / HOGWARTS AU**

**Barry** :  I feel really uncomfortable.  
**Cisco** :  Look, I know it’s a minor misuse of my powers, but I paid for the tickets to the actual convention, so the only thing we skipped out on was air-faire.  
**Barry** :  No, not that.  It’s the robes; they’re too tight at the neck.  
**Cisco** : Oh, let me see.  Better?  
**Barry** :  Yeah, now, about the other problem.  
**Cisco** :  We’ve been over this.  Julian _would_ have made a better Draco, but I don’t want to kiss Julian and it’s not a convincing Drarry cosplay if we don’t kiss, so…  
**Barry** :  Why can’t you be Draco?  
**Cisco** :  *raises one eyebrow*  Seriously, bro?  Are you for real right now?  
**Barry** :  I’m just saying, bleach blond isn’t my best color.  
**Cisco** :  Barry, baby, I love you, but this is happening.  Now, head high and remember, you’re a Malfoy.  
**Barry** :  Stupid Potter.  
**Cisco** :  That’s the spirit.

 

**4\. FREE DAY**

**Cisco** :  Pass me the Doritos.  
**Barry** :  *passes the bag* So, we’re just gonna sit here?  
**Cisco** :  Yup.  
**Barry** :  No sex?  
**Cisco** :  Nope.  You saw the prompt.  It’s a free day.  No work.  No fighting bad guys.  No kinky sex for the author’s gratification.  
**Author** :  That’s not what that prompt was for and you know it!

 

** 5\.  FLASHPOINT AU **

**Cisco** : Aaand, open your eyes.  
**Barry** :  *looks around*  What… Cisco, why does the conference room look suspiciously like your office in Flashpoint?  
**Cisco** :  I’ve been thinking, you’ve been really good about taking things slow…  
**Barry** :  We’ve been taking it slow?  
**Cisco** :  And I think I’m finally ready to get back to… *deep breathe* …Roleplay Wednesday.  
**Barry** :  Does that mean what I think it means?  
**Cisco** : It means that, for tonight, I’m the richest man in America and owner of Ramon Industries, and you are my personal assistant who will do anything to keep me happy.  
**Barry** :  I bet you’re going to take full advantage of that, aren’t you?  
**Cisco** :  I was thinking more along the lines of you tying me down and forcing me to let go of my control for once.  
**Barry** :  I can work with that.  
**Cisco** :  I bet you can, String-Bean.  
**Barry** :  Oh, that’s gonna cost you.  
**Cisco** :  Show me.

 

 **6. SPACE / STAR WARS AU**  
_//Set in Episode 321, during Barry’s memory loss//  
_

**Barry** :  So, I’m a Space Pirate?  
**Cisco** :  Yes.  
**Barry** :  And you’re a prince?  
**Cisco** :  Mhm.  
**Barry** :  And I kidnapped you, but then we fell in love and now we travel the universe fighting evil?  
**Cisco** :  That’s it.  
**Barry** :  Then why aren’t we on a ship or, you know, in space?  
**Cisco** : We’re hiding out.  The evil Professor Zoom was chasing us, so I used my powers to travel inter-dimensionally and found a safe place for us to hole up until we can figure out how to defeat him.  
**Barry** :  I mean… it sounds like a bad comic.  
**Cisco** :  And yet it’s our life.  
**Barry** :  Okay, I guess?  
**Julian** :  Barry, Bart, whatever, can you come over here?  
**Iris** :  *whispers to Cisco* How long are you planning to keep this up?  
**Cisco** :  As long as I can.  He’s so adorable like this.  
**Iris** :  He really is.  Can I be a General in the galactic army?  
**Cisco** :  But he’s a pirate.  You’d have to take him in.  
**Iris** :  Right.  How about a former General in the galactic army that quit when she became disillusioned by the corruption in the system.  
**Cisco** :  And now you’re his chief strategist and pilot!  
**Iris** :  Oh, this is gonna be so much fun!  
**Julian** :  What are you two doing over there?  
**Cisco** / **Iris** :  Nothing!

_-six months later-_

_*breech opens in cortex*_  
**Cisco** :  What the…  
**Pirate!Barry** :  Don’t be alarmed.  I’m Captain Barry Allen, also known as the Space Pirate Flash and this is my companion Prince Francisco Ramon.  We’ve come to seek asylum in your universe from the evil Professor Zoom.  
**Prince!Cisco** :  Do you have to introduce us like that every time?  It sounds like the plot of a bad comic.  
**Pirate!Barry** :  What’s the point of being a space pirate with a handsome prince at my side, chasing evil around the universe if I can’t make grand entrances?  Besides, I kinda like that our lives sound like a comic.  
**Prince!Cisco** :  *sighs*  Me to, but if I don’t complain, who will?  
**Pirate!Barry** :  I think Iris does enough complaining for everyone.  
**Prince!Cisco** :  To be fair, you hired her as a strategist, but screw up every plan she gives you.  
**Pirate!Barry** :  I hired her as a pilot, she appointed herself chief strategist and if she doesn’t want me to screw up her plans, she should make them less complicated.  
**Barry** :  *whispers*  I thought you made that up!  
**Cisco** :  *whispers back* So did I!

 

** 7\. HIGH SCHOOL AU  
** _//If Barry and Cisco had met in highschool//_

**Joe** :  *hears thumping upstairs* What do you think they’re doing up there?  
**Iris** : *shrugs*  They’re either building something you don’t want to know about, doing an experiment you don’t want to know about, or they’re hacking, in which case *chuckles* you _really_ don’t want to know about it.  
**Joe** :  *sighs* Why can’t they just be making out like normal teenagers?

_-meanwhile, upstairs-_

**Cisco** :  Sorry. Sorry.  
**Barry** :  Don’t worry about it.  
**Cisco** :  Aren’t you worried your dad’ll come up and catch us?  I mean, I don’t know about you, but my dad walking in on me having sex with my boyfriend is, like, one of my worst fears.  Right up there with bees.  
**Barry** :  What is it with you and bees, anyway?  They make honey.  Considering how much you love candy, I thought you’d appreciate them more.  
**Cisco** :  Candy is made with sugar, which comes from sugarcane, not bees, and can we do this later?  I’d rather not think about bees while you’re giving me head.  
**Barry** :  Right, sorry.  Like I said don’t worry, Iris has it covered.  
**Cisco** :  I love your sister.  
**Barry** :  Me too, now, cover your mouth, I want to try this thing with my tongue I read about.


End file.
